It's Him!

It's Him!. The story is about a mean couple who lives deep in the woods. The story appears Scary Stories 3: More Tales to Chill your Bones. Despite its violent and crude nature, the story is meant to be comedic. Adapted from 2 stories, one was from Cumberland Gap in Kentucky, collected by Leonard Roberts; the other was in the University of Pennsylvania folklore archive.

Plot

The woman was the meanest, most miserable person you could imagine, and her husband was just as bad. The only good thing was that they lived in the woods all by themselves and couldn't bother anybody else. One day they were off somewhere, getting firewood. And the woman got so mad at her husband, that she grabbed an ax and cut his head off, just like that. And she buried him nice and neat and went home. She made herself a cup of tea, and went out on the porch. She sat there rocking in her rocking chair, sipping her tea, thinking how glad she was that she had done this awful thing.

After a while, she heard this old, empty voice out in the distance, moaning and groaning. And it was saying, "Whoooooooo's going to stay with me this cold and lonely night? Whoooooooo?" "It's him!" she thought, and she hollered back, "Stay by yourself, you old goat!" Soon she heard the voice again. Only now it was closer, and it was saying, "Whoooooooo's going to sit with me this cold and lonely night? Whoooooooo?" "Only a crazy man!" she shouted. "Sit by yourself, you dirty rat!"

Then she heard the voice even closer, and it was saying, "Whooooooo's going to be with me this cold and lonely night? Whoooooooo?" "Nobody!" she sneered. "Be by yourself, you miserable mole!"

She stood up to go into the house, but now the voice was right behind her, and it was whispering, "Who's going to stay with me this cold and lonely night? Whoooooooo?" Before she could answer back, a big hairy hand came around the corner, and grabbed her. And the voice hollered, "YOU ARE!"

Stories
Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark	Strange and Scary Things • The Big Toe • The Walk • What Do You Come For? • Me Tie Dough-ty Walker! • A Man Who Lived In Leeds • Old Woman All Skin and Bone • The Thing • Cold As Clay • The White Wolf • The Haunted House • The Guests • The Hearse Song • The Girl Who Stood on a Grave • A New Horse • Alligators • Room for One More • The Wendigo • The Dead Man's Brains • May I Carry Your Basket? • The Hook • The White Gown • High Beams • The Babysitter • The Viper • The Attic • The Slithery-Dee • Aaron Kelly's Bones • Wait Till Martin Comes • The Ghost with the Bloody Fingers
More Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark	Hoo-Ha's • Something Was Wrong • The Wreck • One Sunday Morning • Sounds • A Weird Blue Light • Somebody Fell From Aloft • The Little Black Dog • Clinkity-Clink • The Bride • Rings On Her Fingers • The Drum • The Window • Wonderful Sausage • The Cat's Paw • The Voice • "Oh, Susannah!" • The Man In The Middle • The Cat in a Shopping Bag • The Bed by the Window • The Dead Man's Hand • A Ghost in the Mirror • The Curse • The Church • The Bad News • Cemetery Soup • The Brown Suit • Ba-Rooom! • Thumpity-Thump
Scary Stories 3: More Tales to Chill your Bones	Boo Men • The Appointment • The Bus Stop • Faster And Faster • Just Delicious • Hello, Kate! • The Black Dog • Footsteps • Like Cats' Eyes • Bess • Harold • The Dead Hand • Such Things Happen • The Wolf Girl • The Dream • Sam's New Pet • Maybe You Will Remember • The Red Spot • No, Thanks • The Trouble • Strangers • The Hog • Is Something Wrong? • It's Him! • T-H-U-P-P-P-P-P-P-P! • You May Be The Next...